Family Mediation
Family Mediation is a process designed to resolve family disputes with the help of an independent, trained mediator. This process is particularly beneficial for separating couples dealing with issues related to children, finances, and other family-related matters. The mediator facilitates negotiation, helping to find a solution that works for both parties.
In most cases of divorce or ending civil partnerships, attending a court hearing is not required. However, where there are issues related to children and finances, the Court will expect the parties to consider mediation before applying to the court to hear their case. Please note that if you require a legally binding outcome or if you are unsure about your legal options regarding separation, divorce, children or financial, consider obtaining legal advice.
Benefits of Family Mediation
Family Mediation offers numerous benefits, including:
Less Conflict, Anxiety, and Stress:
Mediation promotes open communication and understanding, reducing conflict and the associated emotional stress.
Easier Transition for Children:
By resolving disputes amicably, mediation can help to minimise the impact of separation on children.
Speedier Resolution of Issues:
Mediation typically resolves disputes more quickly than court proceedings, allowing families to move forward sooner.
Better Decision Making:
Mediation empowers both partners to make decisions, leading to outcomes that are more likely to be mutually acceptable.
Significant Cost Savings:
Mediation is typically less expensive than litigation, reducing the financial burden on families.
Improved Communication and Cooperation:
Mediation can help to improve communication and cooperation between separating partners, which is particularly beneficial when children are involved.
Complete Control Over the Outcome:
Mediation can enable the parties to have greater control by agreeing the outcome of their issues, rather than having decisions imposed upon them by the Court if court proceedings are issued.
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FAQ's
How long will the divorce take?
It depends to a large extent on the court issuing the proceedings. For an undefended divorce, the time from the issue of the petition until the Decree Absolute (the final decree) is usually between 4 ½ ‐ 6 months. It is likely to take longer than this if the financial aspects need to be resolved by the court.
Where do I issue divorce proceedings?
To start divorce proceedings in England and Wales, you must make an application online via HMTCS Divorce Portal. One party can do this, or you can file a joint application.
What do I base the divorce petition on?
You no longer need to provide bases for divorce. No-fault divorce allows couples to obtain a divorce without the need to prove fault or wrongdoing by either party.
Does it matter which of us issues the proceedings?
Couples can choose between a joint application, where both parties agree to the divorce, or a sole application, where one spouse starts the proceedings alone.
What is the divorce process?
Whether you are using a solicitor or doing it yourself, it’s useful to understand the process so that you can see how you are progressing through it.
In this example, Mo and Pat have decided to get a divorce. They have agreed that Mo will apply for the divorce and Pat will be what is known as the ‘respondent’. They could apply together, but as Pat is not ready for a divorce, he doesn’t want to. This is how the process works, step by step.
1. Mo applies online or sends the application to the Court, and pays a court fee. If Mo has a solicitor, the solicitor must use the online system.
2. The Court checks the application, puts it on the court system and gives the case a number (this is called ‘issuing’), and sends the papers to Pat by email with a letter in the post to confirm this.
3. Pat completes the answers to the questions on the acknowledgement of service form and sends it back to the Court, or fills it in online, within 14 days. This confirms that Pat has received the divorce application. Pat also receives a document called a ‘notice of proceedings’ which confirms that Mo has started divorce proceedings in the Family Court.
4. The Court sends Mo a copy, or if they are using the online system, Mo gets a notification that Pat has responded to the application.
5. After a 20 week ‘cooling off’ period from the date he court issues the divorce application, Mo applies for the conditional order, online via the digital system or by using Form D84 – the application for a conditional order.
6. The District Judge reads the file on the court system. If it is all in order, the Court fixes a date for the conditional order to be made.
7. Mo and Pat get notifications of this date through the digital system or by email/post.
8. The conditional order is issued. A copy is sent to both Mo and Pat by email or if they are using the digital system, they get an email to tell them to log on to see the order.
9. If there are finances to sort out it is important to get legal advice before applying for the final divorce order.
10. 6 weeks after the conditional order is issued, Mo can apply for the final divorce order by sending a form, called the D36 form, to the Court or by applying via the digital system. If Mo does not apply for it within 3 months, Pat can apply.
11. The Court checks the file and issues the final order, sending a copy to both Mo and Pat by email or emailing them both to tell them to see the order via the digital system.
12. They are finally divorced.
How does our financial agreement fit in with the divorce process?
The financial matters tie in with the divorce. If you want your proposals to be incorporated in a consent order for the court the divorce must have reached the decree nisi stage. The court only has jurisdiction to make financial orders on or after decree nisi and they are usually brought into effect on decree absolute. With a pension sharing order, it is necessary for there to be a decree absolute.
What are the other options I have for separation?
There are other options. You may come across a decree of judicial separation. This can be obtained on the proof of the same five facts as divorce, but the decree of judicial separation does not end the marriage – it just states that you can live separate and apart from each other. It is sometimes used for religious reasons or where someone does not want a divorce, yet they want access to the financial relief claims available.
The marriage could also be annulled. Nullity petitions bring an end to the marriage, and the marriage can be treated as void or voidable. Financial relief is also open to the parties to nullity petitions.
If you do not intend to issue proceedings at this stage, then it is possible to incorporate your proposals into a Deed of Separation. As long as there has been full disclosure and you have received legal advice, it is likely that the court will uphold any agreement you record at the time when the divorce goes through if you are not married. Therefore, your proposals can also be incorporated into a Deed of Separation.
What happens if we are in a civil partnership?
If you want to end your civil partnership, you can apply for a dissolution. The process is the same as divorce. You do not need a reason to get a dissolution, this is often referred to as “No-fault”. You can only get a dissolution if you have been in your civil partnership for at least 1 year.
Where can I get further help?
There are several websites that can help you with the process. It may be worth entering the “divorce process“ in the search engine of your computer. However, some of these sites do charge even just for the forms. It is possible to obtain the forms from the court office for free, and someone in the court office will sometimes check that the contents of the documents are accurate for you before the proceedings are issued.
What is Family Mediation?
When two people separate, there are usually several decisions that have to be made about issues such as:
- How to separate
- What to say to the children
- Who will live where
- The distribution of money and property
Mediation provides an opportunity for you to consider some or all of these matters together and, with the help of a mediator, decide jointly what you think are the best arrangements for you and your family.
How Mediation Works?
A mediator will meet with you both for a series of sessions, in which you will be helped to:
- Make a list of all the matters you wish to consider
- Collect the necessary information
- Talk about the choices open to you
- Negotiate with each other to reach decisions that are practicable and acceptable to you both
- Discuss how you can consult your children appropriately about arrangements you decide to make
What does the Mediator do?
The mediator’s job is to act as an impartial third party, helping you to exchange information, ideas and feelings constructively so that you can progress towards joint decision-making. The mediator has no power to impose a settlement; responsibility for all decisions remains with you both since you will know better than anyone what is suitable for your family.
After a mediation appointment, the mediator will usually provide a summary of the outcome of that meeting to help you take the next steps. This might include the options you have considered, the agreements you have made, things you need to research or information you need to provide at the next meeting.
At the end of mediation, the mediator will usually prepare a full mediation summary outlining the decisions you have reached. If you have mediated about finances, this might be two formal documents – an Open Finance Statement and a Memorandum of Understanding.
Do I need to Take Legal and Other Advice?
The mediator must remain impartial, so they cannot advise you about which option is best or work to protect your interests. At certain points in mediation, the mediator may recommend you seek independent advice outside of mediation, including legal advice. The mediator will usually draw up a summary of mediation to help you do this and can also provide details about local solicitors or other organisations if you do not already have this information.
The decisions you make in mediation are not immediately legally binding but can form the basis of a financial and/or child arrangements order. We will prepare documents that make this next stage as straightforward as possible, and you can discuss the next steps with your mediator to help you decide on the best route to achieve a binding agreement.
Is Mediation Confidential?
Yes, mediation is confidential. We will never pass contact details or other personal information on to a third party without your agreement other than in the circumstances stated below:
- We must contact the appropriate authority if we think that you or another party to mediation is at risk of harm.
- By law, we must report to the appropriate authority any suspicion of money laundering by people undertaking mediation.
Is Mediation Privileged?
Courts are likely to regard the discussions as privileged. What you say during mediation cannot later be used in Court as evidence. We will ask each of you to agree that all discussions during mediation take place only to attempt to reach a settlement and are on the basis that they are confidential and will not be referred to in evidence in any court proceedings or affidavit about the same issue.
Facts disclosed during mediation are regarded as open; this includes the information provided when mediating about finances. This information will need to be verified with supporting documents during mediation. While it remains confidential, the information may be used subsequently in court. This means that if an agreement is not reached in mediation, you can still use it as the basis for further discussions.
How does Family Mediation help?
- It gives you more say about what happens.
- It is less stressful, with less conflict between you and your ex.
- The agreements you make can be changed if your circumstances change.
- It can be less upsetting or damaging for any children involved – and helps them continue important family relationships.
- It can be quicker and cheaper than long drawn-out court battles
Why Choose Family Mediation?
Family mediators are there to help you reach decisions about important things for you and your family. They can help you find a way to plan for the future and to agree on what will work best for you without having to go to court. That can save you time, money, and stress.
Mediation provides you with space and time to think about what is most important for your children and the whole family. You can work out how arrangements for your children will work best and think about what will be important for your children as they grow up.
Regardless of whether you are a parent or not, mediation can help you deal with your money, the options you may have about where you will live, and planning your future finances.
When Should I try Family Mediation?
Contact a mediator as soon as you need help sorting things out. Even if you have been separated for a while, or if your case has already gone to court, mediation can still help to resolve things.
You cannot usually take your case to court until you find out if mediation can help you first. If you cannot show that you have considered it, the judge may stop or delay proceedings until you have. Once you have found a mediator, the next step is to attend the first meeting with them to find out if it is right for you. Sometimes this is called a Mediation Information & Assessment Meeting (MIAM). If your case is not suitable for mediation, you will still need to show the judge you have considered it by filling in the relevant court form
When Mediation Might Not be Suitable?
Family mediation works for many people, but it is not suitable for everyone. For example, it may not work if:
- Someone’s safety is at risk, for example, where domestic violence or child abuse is involved. If you have evidence of the violence or abuse, you can take your case straight to court without having to consider mediation. You may qualify for legal aid to do this.
- Your dispute is about financial issues, and you or your partner is bankrupt.
- You do not know where your ex is and cannot contact them.
- Your mediator thinks mediation will not be suitable for you.
If your case is not suitable for mediation, you will still need to show the judge why by filling in the appropriate Court Form (please ask your Mediator or Solicitor, if you have one, for the proper form).
What is a MIAM?
MIAM (or Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting) is an individual pre-mediation session with one of our mediators, in which the disputants can discuss in more detail the issues that need to be resolved and decide if mediation is the right way forward. If mediation isn’t right, the mediator can help you explore other ways to resolve the issues.
The mediator will spend some time at your MIAM, ensuring you understand how this will impact your case and check out any concerns you have about what will happen next.
Is Mediation Privilege?
Courts are likely to regard the discussions as privileged. What you say during mediation cannot later be used in Court as evidence. We will ask each of you to agree that all discussions during mediation take place only to attempt to reach a settlement and are on the basis that they are confidential and will not be referred to in evidence in any court proceedings or affidavit about the same issue.
Facts disclosed during mediation are regarded as open; this includes the information provided when mediating about finances. This information will need to be verified with supporting documents during mediation. While it remains confidential, the information may be used subsequently in court. This means that if an agreement is not reached in mediation, you can still use it as the basis for further discussions.
What is parental responsibility?
Parental responsibility is not an easy concept to understand. It is defined in the Children Act 1989 as “all the rights, duties, powers, responsibilities and authority which by law a parent of a child has in relation to the child and his property”. A person who has parental responsibility has the right to be involved in major decisions concerning arrangements for a child, e.g. education, medical treatment, change in residence. However, the acquisition of parental responsibility does not give a person the right to interfere in day to day arrangements for a child.
Do I have parental responsibility for my child?
A mother has automatic parental responsibility – so does a married father. However, an unmarried father will only have parental responsibility if the birth registration took place after 1.12.03 and the father is named on the birth certificate.
I don’t have parental responsibility how do I acquire it?
You can acquire parental responsibility in two ways:
- By entering into a written agreement with the mother on a prescribed form. This form has to be witnessed by a court official and is then sent to the Principal Registry of the Family Division in London, and sealed copies are returned to each parent.
- By applying for a court order. The courts rarely refuse a father an order for parental responsibility particularly if he can demonstrate commitment towards the child by contact and financial support.
I am a step‐parent can I acquire parental responsibility?
It is possible to acquire parental responsibility in two ways:
a) You can enter into a written agreement with the parent or parents who already have parental responsibility for the child.
b) The court may grant a parental responsibility order.
What is a residence order?
A residence order sets out the arrangements as to the person with whom a child will live. A residence order gives parental responsibility (if not already held) to the person whose favour the order is made.
What about shared residence?
A residence order can be shared between two people, so the children have more than one place they consider to be their home, and their time is shared between the two.
What is a contact order?
A contact order requires the person with whom a child lives to allow the child to visit or stay with the person named in the order or to have contact in some other form.
Contact can be direct (visiting/staying) or indirect (letter/cards/presents).
Contact with his/her natural parents is regarded as a fundamental right of the child, and there have to be strong reasons for a court to refuse contact.
What is custody and access?
These are outdated legal terms. Parental responsibility and residence have replaced custody and contact has replaced access.
I am a grandparent/step‐parent can I apply for residence or contact?
As a grandparent, you will need leave of the court to bring an application for residence or contact unless the child has been living with you for a period of at least three years. The court will look at the connection you have to the child, the type of order you seek and whether there will be any disruption to the child’s life to the extent that harm will be caused.
As a step‐parent (if you are married or have been married to the child’s parent), you can bring an application for residence or contact without the necessity of applying for leave of the court.
What is a prohibited steps order?
A prohibited steps order is designed to prevent a parent from doing a specific thing relevant to their child without the consent of the court. Such an order can be made in conjunction with a contact or residence order. Frequently, it is used where a parent is threatening to take the child out of the jurisdiction of the court.
What is a specific issue order?
This order allows the court to determine an issue usually relating to some aspect of parental responsibility, e.g. where there are differences as to schooling, medical treatment, changing a child’s surname and other specific aspects of a child’s upbringing. As with prohibited steps, the order can be made in conjunction with residence or contact orders.
What does the court consider when making an order under the Children Act 1989?
Under the Children Act 1989, the child’s welfare is the paramount consideration of the court when looking at the child’s upbringing or the administration of a child’s property or income. Therefore, in reaching many decisions, the court has to consider the welfare checklist set out below:
- the ascertainable wishes and feelings of the child concerned (considered in light of their age and understanding);
- their physical, emotional and/or educational needs;
- the likely effect on them of any change in their circumstances;
- their age, sex, background and any characteristics of theirs which the court considers relevant;
- any harm which they have suffered or are at risk of suffering;
- how capable each of their parents (and any other person the court considers the question to be relevant) is of meeting their needs; and
- the range of powers available to the court in the proceedings.
Very caring person dealt with me today. I didn’t realise how much my mental health was affected until today.
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Our Approach to Family Mediation
Our approach to family mediation is guided by principles of neutrality, confidentiality, and mutual respect. We facilitate open communication, helping parties to express their views and understand each other’s perspectives. Our goal is to help parties find a resolution that is mutually acceptable, cost-effective, and avoids the need for court proceedings.
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Requesting Family Mediation
If you’re facing a family dispute and need assistance, please contact us directly. We’ll provide a confidential consultation to help you understand if mediation is the right solution for your situation.
